POMC memorial service held

By Myra Hogan, managing editor

May 6, 2009 — A crowd gathered at New Beginnings in Grayson Friday, May 1, for the Parents of Murdered Children’s annual memorial service.

East Carter High School R.O.T.C. Color Guard presented a flag ceremony as Taps played softly and a hush of eerie silence filled the room.

Kentucky State Police troopers unveiled the National Murder Wall plaques. Murdered victims’ loved ones from across the nation can have their lost one’s name engraved and placed on one of these plaques that travel across the United States.

The theme for this year’s service was “Ordinary Day”.

Ms. Nancy Ruhe, director of the national organization of Parents of Murdered Children, Inc. (P.O.M.C.), shared the story of how P.O.M.C. became a reality in 1978.

“An ‘Ordinary Day’ is not the same once you’ve been offended,” Ruhe said.

“There are 48 murders every day in this nation…leaving loved ones with no time to say goodbye. This destroys victims’ trust in other human beings.”

She explained how the criminal court process can last for years, and though necessary, interferes with the grief process the families must endure.

Many beautiful songs were presented by John Stevens, Debbie Hale, Amber Early and Kim Abbott, including “Go Rest High on That Mountain”, “Ordinary Day” and “I Can Only Imagine”.

Keynote speaker was Rob Garnes, former Kentucky State Police Detective.

Garnes shared about his days as a KSP detective and how he would listen to hurting families and do his best to understand how they felt.

“I could never really understand what it was like to lose someone so dear,” Garnes said. “…the loss of a child…the loss of plans each of you had for their lives.”

“December 2, 2005 was an ordinary day at our house,” Garnes said, as he explained how he had taken a day off of work because he and his son had seen the biggest deer, and it was muzzle load season.

Garnes and his wife Beverly had two sons, Andy, 12, and David, 16.

David was a 6’4” - 215 lb. sophomore student at Rose Hill Christian Academy, and was scheduled for basketball practice that afternoon.

“Before he left for school that morning, he kissed me on the head and said ‘I love you Shorty’,” Garnes said, as he explained how David loved to joke with him about being a lot shorter than he was.

Later that day, the family received a phone call telling them David was having trouble breathing and they were taking him to the hospital by ambulance.

“We thought it was just precautionary because David did have asthma,” Garnes said.

The family arrived before the ambulance and Garnes said he was waiting outside to joke with his son when he arrived.

In pulled an ambulance, police and fire department vehicles with sirens on, Garnes said.

“Paramedics jumped out and were doing chest compressions on David,” Garnes said.

After working with him for some time, they told the family he was gone.

“I finally understood the loss and confusion,” Garnes said. “I had to make a decision to keep my faith in God or make it some other way and I decided to keep my faith in God.”

Garnes said he understood that the death of his son wasn’t the same as the deaths of the victims who were brutally murdered.

He said the murder of a loved one thrusts family members into a world they don’t know anything about…the court system and often harsh and unfair delays in court proceedings.

“Ann (Bauers) used to tell me she thought about her son every minute of every day,” Garnes said. “I couldn’t understand how that was possible…but I do now.”

“Some nights God lets me dream and I see me and Beverly and the boys all laughing together. Then…the alarm goes off. I peek out with one eye and see something that reminds me of the pain and I relive David’s death all over again.”

Garnes added.

“God is with me, restoring my faith. He is the same God that experienced the loss of his own son.”

This was the 5th annual memorial service for P.O.M.C.

“The first year we were a small group and Detective Rob Garnes was our first guest speaker,” said Ann Bauers, P.O.M.C. chapter president.

“I am really thankful for everyone who came out for the beautiful memorial service this year. All that participated did an awesome job.”

P.O.M.C. meets the first Monday of each month at New Beginnings. For more information contact Board Member Bob Thomas 474.5126.

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