July 18, 2007 — Editor’s Note: This is the first in a series of first-hand accounts of lives touched by drugs here in Carter County. The names will be changed to protect identity.



My brother can’t speak for himself, so I will be his voice in this article. You see, he is dead due to an overdose of OxyContin. The fatal morning of July 27, 2001, I got the call from his wife after she had found him face down on the couch in a pool of greenish, white matter, oozing from his nose, mouth and ears.

He had snorted one too many OC’s and his life was over at the age of 37. This is a story of what drug addiction can do to even a good man.

Jim was a great father, husband and worker who had driven a semi most of his adult life. He had two children at the time of his death, a son 14 and a daughter 16. He began using prescribed painkillers after a truck accident that caused him a back injury. After taking the drugs for over one year, his doctor told him he would no longer need them. That was far from the truth or reality. In fact, he needed them more than anyone ever knew.

He began secretly selling items from his home to feed his addictive habit. He even sold his son’s collectable cars and knives to purchase that much needed fix. Now, that was not something my brother would have never done had it not been for his addiction to drugs. He loved his son and had spent many years buying the collectables for the boy he loved so much.

After a while, he did go back to work but when payday came around, he would spend his entire check on drugs and there would be nothing for bills or food. His family had to file bankruptcy. They lost both their cars and nearly lost their home to repossession.

The night before he died his wife was sleeping and Jim was in need of some money to get his next day’s fix. He quietly slipped the wedding rings that she had worn for 19 years off her finger and took them the next day and sold them. When she woke up she realized they were gone, and so was John. He had left to find the next few days’ snort of Oxycontin.

Yes, she was very angry with him, and during a call to me she said she didn’t know how to deal with him anymore. That night he was arrested by the Grayson Police and put into jail. His wife, who was so angry with him, still drove to the jail and then took him home. He, of course like every time, cried to her and begged for forgiveness. She also cried and went to bed. I guess what he had done that time was just too much for him to handle. What we didn’t know was that in his front pocket was a bottle filled with about 20 Oxycontins. I don’t know exactly how many he took that night. But I do believe that he just couldn’t take his addiction anymore and the suffering he had put his family through. So, he just sat there on the couch and kept snorting pill after pill. The sight of him laying face down on that couch will forever be chiseled into my mind. His entire head was black from the neck up. His head was swollen three times it’s normal size. His eyes were open and hollow. The greenish, white matter oozing from his membranes was still wet. I could hear gurgling coming from his insides. He was cold but not completely stiff. It was a morning that I will never forget. I lost my brother and best friend to an evil, sadistic addiction. An addiction that takes over lives and has no mercy. Drugs do not care whom you are, where you work, or how strong of a person you are – They will conquer and destroy the lives of those taking them.

The worse part about my brother dying is that he is not here with us. Every time I hear the Lynyrd Skynyrd song “Gimme’ Three Steps” or Hank Jr’s “Long Hair County Boy” I think of Jim coming in the back door smiling and singing. He would be tugging at the back of his pants - that had fallen nearly down- and with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He would say, “What’s up sis?”

However, it’s very difficult during holidays and especially Christmas; when the only gifts I can give him are flowers - he never really liked flowers. But, that’s the only token of my love that I can ever offer to him.

Drugs are a poison that enters the mind and soul. They are highly possessive of a person’s self-being and are determined to take over the life of the one using them. There is a way out and that is to just simply stop taking them. Sure, it’s a difficult road as many recovering addicts have told me. But to keep doing it is a guaranteed death sentence. The best way to overcome drugs is to never eat the first pill. It only takes a couple of times before the “feeling’ takes over and you’ll need more.

I know this; my brother explained it to me. I’m certain he wasn’t proud of being a drug addict, but it was bigger than him and it took my best friend out of this world at a very young age.

I went to his grave over Memorial Day - and after all these years - it’s still just as difficult as it was the day we put him into the ground. When a drug addict dies, their time on earth is over - but it’s never over for the family they leave behind.

My sister-in-law recovered her wedding rings not long after the funeral. It cost her $250 to buy them back from the pawnshop.

Although she remarried a wonderful man in February 2007, she still wears – on her right hand - the rings she regretfully believes bought the fatal dose that killed her long time companion and husband.

I do believe my brother wanted to stop using. He was a good man who just became trapped in a situation that was much bigger than his willpower could overcome. I do know he told me many times, “Sis, never get started using this stuff - It’s the devil and he’s right after me.”



NOTE: Those who are or have been addicted to drugs or have suffered loss due to the drug addiction of others are invited to send their story to mhogan@journal-times.com fax to 474-0013 or drop off at the Grayson or Olive Hill offices.