Journal-Times (Grayson, KY)

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Opinion

January 10, 2008

Drugs touch many lives - Story #21

January 9, 2008 — Editor’s Note: This is a series of first-hand accounts of lives touched by drugs here in Carter County The names will be changed to protect identity.



Father In Heaven,

Tonight the pain in my heart is so heavy. My son is owned by his addiction to pain pills. It’s also trying to own my wife and I, through him.

One minute I’m running him off, the next minute I’m finding reasons for him to stay. I’m broken hearted and angry at the same time.

It’s a terrible feeling to have to deal with, especially when you’re working out of town. Unable to fix him is the worst failure I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I’ve fixed everything around our home, from his flat tire on his bicycle to re-lacing his ball glove in the middle of a ball game. His mother and I were so faithful at fixing any problems or troubles that came his way, it just is the natural thing to do for your child.

But I find that this is so far out of our reach. I personally, as a father, feel responsible for getting him help, but he won’t let me. What do I do?

I have spent and spent and spent and I’m not just talking about money only. The emotional strain is taking its toll on our physical well-being. I get so angry at him for even allowing himself to get us in this situation and try to understand that he don’t realize how powerful this monster of addiction is.

He says he thought he could just quit anytime he wanted to until he tried and found he couldn’t. I just don’t know why he ever even risked the danger in the first place knowing the potential. Especially knowing that it doesn’t just affect him alone but the very ones that love him the most and eventually the only ones that love him enough to help him till the very last breath leaves us.

Tonight I am battling anger more than ever. It’s really starting to be a tormenting conflict in striving to be understanding and just wanting him to go and not return until he comes back home fixed right. I’m talking about being how we raised him to be and how he actually was before he ignored our teachings.

He was raised so good. Every detail in his life was attended to. Prayer, Bible reading at home, Sunday School and church life was planted in his life the moment he was born until he was an adult. Hunting, fishing, sports of every kind and in every season of his life I was there for him. I made sure I was there driving hours on end just to be at a school function or game. I made sure I was there.

We demonstrated before him every day of his life what life could be if you live your life for your Lord. So now that you know my feelings right this moment, Father I’m asking you for your help from one father of a son to another. I know you can or I wouldn’t even ask. I believe Lord, help my unbelief.

Your Child,

Amen

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